Obituary of Walter Stanley Cabay

It is with great sadness we announce the passing of Walter Stanley Cabay of Bonnyville, Alberta at the age of 91 years. Walter will be lovingly remembered by his wife of 66 years, Joanna, his children; Joe (Rosalie) Cabay, Jim (June) Cabay, Helen Cabay and Irene Cabay (Ed Skarsen), 10 grandchildren and 21 great grandchildren. Walter was predeceased by his parents, Stanley and Helen Cabay and siblings, Caroline, Mike, Bronek, Leo, Peter, Jenny and Mary. A visitation on Monday, November 16, 2015 from 7 – 8:00 p.m. at Northern Lights Funeral Chapel. Mass of Christian Burial on Tuesday, November 17, 2015 at 9:45 a.m. at St. Louis Roman Catholic Church, Bonnyville, Alberta with Father Rene Realuyo as celebrant. Interment at St. Peter & St. Paul Catholic Cemetery, Alexander, Alberta with Seminarian Michael Ngo presiding. Honorary pallbearers; Joe Madro, John Smith, Fred Cabay, Frank Cabay, Stan Cabay and Louis Janiver. Pallbearers; Tony Cabay, Doug Cabay, Len Bellemore, Tyler Kurash, Derek Steinbrenner and Jason Ball. Memorial tributes in memory of Walter may be made to the Stollery Children’s Hospital Foundation, 1502 College Plaza, 8215-112 St, Edmonton, AB T6G 2C8 A message from the greatgrandchildren written by Chandler Bellemore: I am missing you so much Grandpa ❤ but you are now in a better place! You will not have to go through anymore pain, and I just want you to know that I Love You ❤ Heaven just got one wonderful angel. We are here today to celebrate the life of Walter Cabay, and celebrate is what he would want us to do. From his infectious laugh, his wide smile to his loving and insightful wisdom we will celebrate him. As many of us have heard him say, “I’ve had a good life. Don’t be sad when I’m gone”! Wladyslw Stanislaw Cabaj (Walter Stanley Cabay) was born in Niedzwida, Poland almost exactly 91 years from today. Although his time in Europe was limited, he fondly remembered his pet hedgehog which he would take to the creek by their house. Dziadek would chuckle as he explained how this little critter would tuck himself into a ball when he rolled him down the hill...only to be retrieved and rolled down time and time again. At the age of four, the Cabay family immigrated to Canada by ship via the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Dziadek recalled the ship ride and how everyone around him was getting sea sick, but he was having fun running and playing on deck. This was a glimpse into the athlete he would become. He travelled from Halifax to Alberta by train to find the family’s land near Ardmore. They could have used a GPS because when they built their first shack, they realized it was built on the wrong quarter of land. They had to abandon it and rebuild. One of his first lessons in hard work. These early days had many trying times with the loss of several family members to TB, the flu and vehicle accidents. Like many immigrants, Dziadek started his schooling late after arriving in Canada. In spite of this, he excelled in his studies and managed to complete a grade six education. Although he took school seriously, it should also be known that he was quite the little rascal as well. Dziadek would occasionally be sent to stand in the corner of the one room schoolhouse. Like many other areas in his life, he viewed this as an opportunity. While appearing to “learn his lesson” he would secretly affix the buttons of his classmate’s jackets to one another. When they ran out for recess all the coats would be hooked to one another. He even tipped the outhouse, door down, on a fellow who he was not fond of. I’m sure from these tales, he must have had time to carve his name in that corner. School is also where Dziadek began to explore his athleticism. At a school/church picnic, when he was still a small boy, he was excited to learn that the winner of the gunny sack race would win an ice cream cone. There was only one problem...he didn’t know what a gunny sack race was. He asked around and the priest explained to him that he needed to put his feet in and somehow make it to the finish line without his feet ever leaving the gunny sack. His ingenuity paid off and he won the ice cream. His trick...he spread his legs tight and did cartwheels past the others to the finish line. In his prime, Dziadek also loved to play baseball. He preferred to play outfield, because in his words he could run like hell! This love continued as he grew older, with baseball and hockey being his two favorite sports to watch on TV (if Price is Right was a sport that would make three). He was an avid fan and dedicated volunteer of the Bonnyville Jr. A Pontiacs. Dziadek loved to break bread apart and soak it in a glass of milk. When asked why he liked that, he recalled a story of how his oldest brother Mike went off to Smoky Lake to work. Instead of being paid money for his summer labors, he was paid with the possession of a cow. Recently, the Cabay family cow had died so this was indeed a precious commodity. When Mike came home, he milked the cow and gave the first glass to his little brother saying that Walter needed the milk. Dziadek dunked his bread into that glass and forever loved to drink his milk that way. Years later, when Mike was in hospital, my Dziadek would bring his brother grapes everyday...one of his favorite fruits. When Mike asked, “why do you come every day and bring me grapes”, Dziadek shared the story of the cow with him. Acts of kindness and good deeds were never lost on him. As a young man, Dziadek played many roles. He was a farmhand, cat skinner and logger. When he was 16 years old, he was offered a job as foreman with a logging company in Dewberry. True to his love of family, he turned the job down to care for his aging parents. It was my Dziadek’s nature to help those who needed help. He believed in a hand up, not a hand out. He was always a leader when something needed to be done. He would step forward, roll up his sleeves and get involved to make sure things happened. He ran for school trustee because the government was thinking of closing Ardmore School. He understood that a centralized school would be create too long of days for little children. He argued with Ministers of Government on the issue until one day providence stepped in and assisted him. A government official had come to see the situation for himself. Dziadek and some other trustees took the official out on a tour to show how far the bus ride already was. As it happened, their car broke down. Dziadek, being a selftaught fixer of anything broken, crawled under the car to see what was the matter. It was a very cold, winter day and the official was only wearing dress shoes. Everyone had to stand in the snow as the car was jacked up with my Grandpa beneath it. The problem was fixed within a matter of minutes, but Dziadek could see the official dancing in the cold, trying to stay warm. Again, taking advantage of the circumstance, Dziadek remained under the car, watching those feet, banging his wrench, pretending to still be working. The government official was so cold, he quickly agreed to no centralization ensuring shorter bus rides for the small children. Dziadek loved to travel. Along with his loving wife, Joanna, they went to Alaska, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Deadwood, Yellowstone and California. They travelled Canada from Yellowknife in the north to the US border in the south...from Vancouver to Halifax, where he located his family’s original docking papers from 1929 keeping his tour bus waiting for him! He made several trips to Columbus, Ohio and New York City to connect with cousins from his mother’s side of the family. They returned to Poland in 2004 and visited the farm where he was born, the hill he rolled his hedgehog down and the graves of his grandparents. He would tell me how that trip was a once in a lifetime experience. Not only because he returned to his homeland, but also because he got to do it with his daughter and two granddaughters. Dziadek had a thirst for learning and even enrolled in a small engine repair course in his 70’s. He always was fixing and modifying farm machinery. As his kids and grandchildren know, if something was broke...you took it to Grandpa! He would do his best to fix it, but if it was beyond repair it didn’t hit the trash. It was salvaged for parts, just in case it could be used for another project...or possibly a creative windmill! He had a snowblower that quit once. He took it apart and figured out which piece needed replacing. When he contacted the company, he was told that they didn’t make that model anymore. His response, “Well, why not? It’s only 35 years old and still in good shape”. The company found the part in a warehouse and he fixed the snowblower. That snowblower now sits in my garage, awaiting its first Ponoka snowfall. Thanks Dziadek! Those that have ever seen “the coil scribblers” will understand the next story. Dziadek kept meticulous records. He could tell you how the price of coffee at A&W changed over a decade to the cost of fuel and cattle in 1950s. He even recorded weather trends. We always considered his fascination for keeping these records a bit eccentric until the Alberta Archives said they would like those records for posterity. One of his greatest passions in life was his farm and especially his cattle. As he would walk among the herd, the cattle seemed to sense his caring. Every one had its own name and he could tell which calf belonged to which cow simply by the sound they made. In fact, he cared for anything to do with nature. He wasn’t a big hunter, but would sit for hours watching deer eat his round hay bales. Dziadek had many horses. His favorite was Liza, however Jim, Joe, Helen and Irene can remember being taught to ride Molly, the fat horse, bareback. When they moved to town, he even had bales placed in Jessie Lake outside his dining room window so he could watch the geese. He had many dogs...Tippy, Scruffy, Lassie, Buster and his beloved little Yorkie, Danny. Dziadek and Danny were inseparable. He believed they were the same age as they even had to take their insulin shots together. I can’t think of winter without thinking of Dziadek icefishing. He would head out with his buddies at a ridiculously early time to catch his limit and be back within hours. Despite numerous heart attacks and five knee replacements, Dziadek still loved to be outside picking wild blueberries and cranberries. He was still picking berries this past August. In fact, when asked how he met my Granny this was his story… “I was in the middle of a blueberry patch. A shadow crossed my blueberries and when I looked up, all I saw were these legs...that went up and up. We went to a few picnics and baseball games together. We only dated for 3 months and since nobody bought me anything for my 25th birthday, I thought I’d get my own present...a wife! I liked it so much that I kept it for 66 years!” They shared the love of the outdoors and carried it into town. Proudly displayed above their breezeway entrance was their coveted Alberta Farm Family Award they won in 1986, presented to them for typifying the ideals of farm life and their contributions to their rural community. The back door through the breezeway led to a true paradise for all of the visiting grandchildren. Their backyard was a HUGE garden. Dziadek could often be found crouched down among the rows or sitting in his backyard chair, shelling peas, and feeding them to Danny or the squirrel that lived in the tree next door. Out of all things in life, Dziadek valued family the most. From his wife and children to his ten grandchildren and twentyone great grandchildren, he showed nothing but true unconditional love. It didn’t matter what was going on in your life or what mistake you may have made, he was always waiting with a big, loving hug to let you know he cared. What happened in the past, was what happened in the past. Although these were not his words, he understood that even when you stumble, at least you still stumble forward. Look ahead, choose a path and fight for what you want. My last conversation with my Dziadek happened just over a week ago. I went to visit him and I presented him a ribbon that said “who I am makes a difference”. He always was so humble. Dziadek was blown away hearing about what he had done and how it had impacted my life. He said that everyone that came to visit him had the same sentiments. From Doug mentioning how he would roll a ball down the hallway with him, to his own children explaining the life lessons that they learned from their Dad. He couldn’t believe that his simple life could have touched so many people. Just before I left, I asked him, “Dziadek, what advice can I give my 3 children from you? What is one thing that you want them to know?” These were his words… “Life is full of lessons and you are bound to make mistakes. You are going to do things that are wrong, you will make bad choices and you might even go bankrupt, but through it all, you will always have one thing that nobody can take away from you. You will always have your name. You are a Cabay. Make sure that you protect it. Make sure you work hard so that when people hear your name, they think beyond your past. People should hear your name and think of the person you ARE and what you stand for.” So I challenge all of you here… Whatever you called this man...Walter, Dad, Uncle, Grandpa, or Dziadek...think of what his name means to you. For me it is loyalty, integrity, honesty and love. He had a good life. We are here to celebrate his life. From his infectious laugh, his wide smile to his loving and insightful wisdom. I will miss you Dziadek.